About the Skills

Overview: What DBT Is For

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a skills-based approach for handling intense emotions, reducing crisis behaviors, and building a life that feels worth living. DBT is especially useful when emotions show up as urgent action urges—shutting down, lashing out, spiraling, dissociating, people-pleasing, self-harm urges, compulsive checking, substance urges, etc.

DBT doesn't treat emotions as "the problem." It treats emotions as real signals that can become overwhelming—especially when you're stressed, traumatized, burned out, neurodivergent, or lacking support. DBT gives you repeatable skills to respond effectively.

The 4 DBT skill modules

  • Mindfulness: notice what's happening (without getting swallowed by it)
  • Distress Tolerance: survive the moment without making it worse
  • Emotion Regulation: reduce vulnerability + shape emotions over time
  • Interpersonal Effectiveness: get what you need while keeping self-respect + relationships intact
Download DBT Cheat Sheet (PDF)

How DBT Works

DBT works because it trains three things at once:

1) Awareness (Mindfulness)

You learn to spot what's happening in real time:

trigger → thoughts → body sensations → emotion → urge → action

When you can name it, you can work with it.

2) Stabilization (Distress Tolerance / Crisis Skills)

When you're in "hot brain" mode, reasoning is hard. Crisis skills help you:

  • lower physiological arousal
  • interrupt impulsive actions
  • get through the wave safely

3) Change + building a better baseline (Emotion Regulation + Interpersonal)

Once you're stable, you build the conditions that make crises less frequent:

  • reduce vulnerabilities (sleep, nutrition, overstimulation, cognitive distortions)
  • build positive emotions and mastery
  • improve boundaries, communication, trust, and repair

DBT is "dialectical" because it holds two true things at once:

  • You are doing the best you can
  • You can learn new skills and do better

Flow Chart Map

The interactive flow chart guides you through a structured process to identify your feelings and choose appropriate coping skills. Here's the path and what skills you can use at each step:

Step 1: Body Check-In

Start by checking into your body. Options:

  • Yes, I know how I'm feeling → Go to Feelings Wheel
  • No, please guide me through a body scan → Body Scan (1, 5, or 15 minutes)
  • No, it feels unsafe → Unsafe Body Check page with alternative options

Skills: Mindfulness, Body Awareness

Step 2: Identify Feelings

Use the interactive Feelings Wheel to select your emotions.

Skills: Mindfulness (Observe, Describe), Emotion Identification

Step 3: Sit With It (Optional)

After identifying feelings, you can choose to sit with them:

Skills: Letting Go, Mindfulness

Step 4: Change Feelings (If Needed)

If you want to change your feelings, the flow continues:

Skills: Self-Care (PLEASE skills), Distress Tolerance

Step 5: Regulation Path

If not overwhelmed, continue with regulation:

Skills: Emotion Regulation, Check the Facts

Step 6: Problem Solving or Soothe

Based on whether you can change the situation:

Skills: Problem Solving, Self-Soothe, Distress Tolerance

Crisis Path

If overwhelmed, use crisis skills first:

Skills: Distress Tolerance, Crisis Skills

Key Principle

The flow chart adapts to your needs. If you're in crisis, use crisis skills first. If you're stable, you can work through emotion regulation and problem-solving. The goal is to match the skill to your current state and needs.